By Jennifer Holder
At the age of 21, I decided that I had had enough of this thing called life. So, I planned on killing myself. I was struggling in every aspect of life. Just drowning and no one (or so I thought) could see me drifting away. I grew up in church but that’s all I did. I had no relationship with God for myself. I had been in Cleveland, Ohio, for two years and had not been in church at all.
Well, I sat in my room, in my apartment, that I shared with my best friend and decided that it was time. I slept for a week with a knife next to my bed, on a window seal. I grabbed it and put it to my wrist the long way because I looked up how to do it correctly. Right before I was about to slit my wrist I heard a small voice, not shouting or yelling say “Read Matthew 6:33 & 34”. I stopped and thought who said that. I heard it again. Then I thought, I don’t even know where my Bible is. No sooner than the thought left my mind I saw my Bible sitting on my desk.
I read the verses. “But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” I immediately began to cry!
God spoke to me right where I was. I was so worried about EVERYTHING that I totally forgot to simply seek Him. From that day forward I have never let worry set me back into depression and suicide has never raised its hand to me again. God was there all the time. It wasn’t until I was in a quiet place away from the noise that I heard Him calling to me. I have no doubt He had been calling me for a long time but I just wasn’t listening. The God I serve is a life saving God.
I’m a witness!!
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