Have you ever sat by your Father, Brother, Son, Cousin, Boyfriend or Husband and thought to yourself because of their actions, “What in the World is He Thinking About?” Well, I have had the incredible privilege of being a boy, teenager, young adult, man and now heading toward middle-aged man. Now I am prepared to share this with you.
My life experiences and by talking to every level of male figure that I’ve come in contact with in my Ministry has assured me of our differences and our similarities. From Preachers to ushers, from gang members to CEOs, from drug addicts to city officials and from deadbeat dads to concerned and dedicated fathers, the majority of us have settled on five things that men hate.
Pay close attention:
1. Rejection-Men hate rejection by anyone or anything. It could be by someone they love or lust for in most cases. Men hate to be excluded by friendships or family. Also, by jobs, promotions and/or organizations. Men love to know they are loved and belong. The terrible part about it is, we like to act like it never happened, yes denial. We are taught to be tough and strong, but this allows us to have bitterness and hidden anger. However, everyone we come in contact with suffers, until we heal.
2. Failure-As a little league football player, winning was first priority. If we didn’t win, the coaches or my Dad made us feel so worthless. I know their aim was to keep us focused on greatness, but it had a major effect on our will to win. However, life will not always allow you to win every challenge that we face. So, whatever we set our minds to, we want to be successful or we feel incomplete. When we set goals for our life, losing to us is commonly not an option. This has always meant that in our education, job performance, marriage, fatherhood, family and community we must win. If we fail, this sets a pattern of constant fear and inferiority, with others who seem to be excelling above us. Many men crippled after some of their failures, are afraid of trying or give up all together.
3. Losing Control-Man was ordained by God to be the head. We were given dominion over everything. No wonder we are territorial when it comes to our things and our space. We must be able to take care of situations, circumstances and conditions. We must have control of providing and protecting our wives and children, taking care of parents and loved ones, and if that control is compromised, it results in what we call “Testing our Manhood.” No one wants their Manhood shackled, if he’s a real man and will do just about anything to prove himself, even to the point of resorting to hurting someone or something.
4. To Be Wrong-We, as men, hate to be wrong. I didn’t say hate; to admit we are wrong, because admitting we are is easier for us than the act of being wrong. We can say we are sorry but that does not even scratch the surface of what happened inside. When we can see the damage of what we caused, it cuts deep. However, we do not need to verbally be reminded of the wrong doing. We have the internal reminder working all the time. We can’t stand to face what we have done so the ultimate alternative is to lash out. This could be at whoever will attempt to remind us or even make us feel bad about our choices.
5. Death-In my Ministry I am constantly faced with the many mysteries of Death (when the mortal body will one day shutdown, never to be active in the earthly realm again). Every man is afraid of the unknown. We have to bury love ones and friends with broken hearts and pain that last for years. Also, we personally are not totally prepared for our inevitable meeting with death. No matter how spiritual, tough or manly, we wonder about our time and how it will happen. Who will be there, will they be able to carry on without me? Will my children be better or worse because of my passing? Will people miss me or who will they cry when I leave? We hate to think about or deal with Death.
I ask every woman and girl to pray for the men in your family and whoever you come in contact with because God is still interested and accessible to the man. “What is man that thou art mindful of him?” God bless and I’ll keep you in my prayers!
By Minister R L Taylor
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About Minister R L Taylor
Minister R.L.Taylor, is a Preacher, Singer and Songwriter and comes forth with the message and ministry of musical healing of the soul. Growing up singing in church, Minister R.L.Taylor was force to do what he would one day be called to do and enjoy. He thanks God for allowing him to be reared in a spiritual home with a loving Mother who was the first one to introduce him to Christ.